This is a topic of much deliberation and many questions. Your big, fantastic day is over and you realise just how many beautiful presents, gifts, and well wishes you received before, during and after your wedding day. You need to say thank-you to everyone, but the task seems overwhelming. Where did you put all the addresses? Who got you what? What do you say? When do you say thank-you and how?
The questions mount up, as does the stress of undertaking the huge task. Here is how to tackle this head on, without forgetting about the finer details.
When should I send out Thank-You notes?
It’s good etiquette to acknowledge all the beautiful gifts your friends and loved ones have given you before, during and after your wedding. As a general rule of thumb, anywhere between 2 weeks to 2 months after your wedding day is an appropriate amount of time in which to get your thank-you notes out to everyone. They didn’t send over a wedding gift a year later, so you shouldn’t wait a year to say thank you. It may be tempting to delay thank-you notes, as you said thanks on the day right?! Wrong. Treat your gifts with the respect that they deserve! People took the time to get you gifts for your new life, show your appreciation for that.
Some individuals may have given you gifts before your wedding day; and in that case it’s necessary to thank these people up to two weeks after you have received the gift. A call or message to let them know you received the gift is fine, but it’s still a must to send a thank-you note. There are some people that may not have made it to the wedding but still sent gifts or well wishes; the same rules apply. Thank them for the gift, be it a tangible item, money, or simply a card.
How do I send my Thank-You notes?
This is easy…via handwritten mail. Unless it is near impossible to send to certain guests a ‘Thank-You’ the traditional way, there really isn’t an excuse. Thank-you notes that are handwritten and sent by post add a personal touch, and convey your appreciation in a more sentimental format. It shows your guests that you have taken the time out to sit down and think about how they have contributed to your new life. The best piece of advice is to keep track of who has sent you what. This will save you time later when it comes to writing all your thank-you notes; and as a heads up it will definitely lower the stress levels come thank-you-note-writing-mayhem-day!
Who do I send my Thank-You notes to?
Well this can vary, but going back to good etiquette, you should send thank-you notes to everyone. This goes for people who attended the wedding (thanking them for attending), people who sent presents but could not attend, and people you may not know too well but who attended and/or sent gifts or well wishes. An important point to remember is that the thank-you list definitely includes immediate family and close friends. This group of guests can easily get forgotten as they are so familiar to you. You see them often, and you have said thank-you in person. No! They are just as important as any other guests, if not more so, so spend a little extra time on thanking your nearest and dearest.
What do I say in my Thank-You notes?
The best advice here is to try to include a sentiment specifically related to the gift that you have received. If your guest got you something off of your registry then let them know how much you and your partner have been looking forward to using it and how well the new item fits into your home. If someone gave you money then let them know how you intend to use the money, and how useful it has been in helping to build your new life. Lastly, if people have sent well wishes thank them for their thoughts and appreciate their consideration.
In terms of how to address your thank-you notes it really depends on you as a couple and your personal taste. However, do keep in mind your relationship with the person you are sending your note to. With distant relatives or people you aren’t too familiar with it would be best to use ‘Mr’, ‘Mrs’, or ‘Miss’. Whereas with close family and friends, nicknames and warmer terms are fine.
What should I use to write my Thank-You notes?
Stationary! The best topic of all! So here is where pre-planning (if that’s your thing- and it should be!) is important. The stationary you use can be purchased with the rest of your wedding suite and follow the same theme, or you can buy something after the big day. Something monogrammed with your new initials is often a fantastic choice. The thank-you card, or stationary doesn’t need to be wedding themed, but it should still be pretty.
It’s also important to standardize all your thank-you note material. If simplicity is your thing then a basic white embossed card is perfect; it’s understated but still pretty and thoughtful. One thing that’s not advisable is a cheap set of 50 cards with a colourful printed ‘thank-you’ scrolled across the front, surrounded by party poppers and balloons. You’re not thanking you guests for attending your 5th birthday! These people have invested time, money and thought into the gifts and well wishes they have sent, and as said earlier, you should do the same! So bottom line….keep an eye out for post wedding stationary as well as pre-wedding invite paraphernalia – it will save you a world of trouble and money. Win-win!
So there you have it, a complete guide to writing your wedding thank-you notes! It really can be an easy, and enjoyable task!
So, our Top Tips…
Keep in mind that the wedding thank you note project begins way back when you begin gather your wedding guests’ names and addresses to send the invitations. Do yourself a favour and remember to save that list! Make a copy of it at invitation time and put it away. Before you start opening gift boxes, find the list and record each gift next to the giver’s name and address.
Equip yourself with pens that you like to write with. Stay away from the cheap supermarket variety or the kind that take to long to dry (smudged writing is never chic). Roller-ball pens are a great choice.
Try to start writing your wedding thank you notes as soon as gifts start arriving and don’t attempt to get them all done in one sitting; trust us – it simply won’t happen.
Put a big check mark next to the guest’s name when the thank-you note has been signed, sealed, and delivered – this is the part you’ll enjoy most.